Not Ready to Have a Baby?

DonnaBarnes Advice for Men Leave a Comment


If you’re not ready to have a baby yet it’s 100% your responsibility to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy. Assuming that the girl is on the pill, or that she’ll have an abortion if she gets pregnant, are very dangerous and naïve attitudes.

Before you have unprotected sex you need to have a conversation about what would happen if you get pregnant. Is she open to having an abortion? Open to adoption? Or does she want to have the baby and get married, live together, or co-parent with child support payments from you? If you’re not ready to have that conversation then you need to use a condom — every time.

The pill is only 99% effective and that’s if it’s taken at exactly the same time every day, without missing doses, and you have to be on it for three consecutive months before it starts working. As a man, you need to fully trust the woman you’re having sex with to take the pill correctly. If you want to be sure, use a condom anyway. Getting pregnant on the pill is not only possible it happens a lot. I personally know several people who got pregnant while taking the pill.

The so-called rhythm method, pulling out, isn’t effective either. Sperm drips out prior to climax and there are millions of sperm in a single drop. The first out has the strongest concentration of sperm. Sperm lives inside the woman for 2 to 3 days and even up to a week. So you never really know when she could conceive your baby. She can even get pregnant during her period. It’s a crapshoot to rely on pulling out.

If you do create an unwanted pregnancy you have to accept the consequences to your actions. You need to be responsible and support whatever the girl wants to do. It’s her body. If she doesn’t want an abortion you cannot pressure her to have one. That’s verbal and emotional abuse. If you didn’t protect yourself you have to live with the consequences.