Having the talk about commitment and moving a relationship forward is never easy. Frequently it will end your relationship. So when is the best time to ask if you have a future together?
- If you have been together at least six months and you want to know where you stand.
- If you are at a personal impasse of being happy with your partner, but not with the status of the relationship.
- Your frustration about a lack of commitment is causing you to behave differently or making you angry.
Basically, if you feel like you want to have “the talk”, that is probably a good time. But be prepared that it might not get you what you want, even if it is what you truly need to hear.
I recommend asking your partner if you can set a time to talk about your relationship. Springing a heavy conversation usually doesn’t produce good results.
When you sit down to talk, ask about his or her five-year plan. Also, “Where do you see us a year from now?”
Whatever answer you get, make sure you listen closely and hear exactly what he or she said. Do not interpret it to fit what you want or think that you can change him or her. You can’t. You have to accept their truth.
If he or she says they’re not ready for a relationship and you deeply desire one it’s time for you to let go and find someone who wants the same thing as you. Commonality is what makes a relationship last. You should never waste your time in a relationship that is not meeting your needs. Trust me time is valuable and years fly by before you know it. Let go now and find someone better while you’re still young enough. I promise you’ll be glad that you did.
