Should I or shouldn’t I? If you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to about wanting to have first time sex you can talk to me. I’ll help you make the right decision for you, with no judgments. Knowledge is the most important part of making any decision.
One of my favorite clients was a 15-year-old girl who’s single father hired me because he said, “She’s asking questions that I don’t know how to answer.” When her father left the room she whispered to me, “All boys want is sex!” I said, “Of course they do, but that doesn’t mean you have to give it to them!”
Males reach their sexual peak at 18 years old, which means while you’re in high school together their hormones are going crazy, and sex is literately the main thing on their minds. But unfortunately, females don’t reach their sexual peak until 35 years old. Which is why teenage girls have a much more difficult decision to make about if they even WANT to have sex or not.
Losing your virginity is a very personal and important decision. Two-thirds of US teenagers who are having sex wish they had waited. Your first time can either help you enjoy sex, or ruin it for you for the rest of your life. So please don’t take it lightly or do it “just to get it over with.” Studies have shown that a girl’s self-esteem is raised when she delays bring sex into a relationship. I believe you should only do it if you really want to and you’re truly ready.
Here are the things I believe you need to check off before deciding to have first time sex:
- You’re in an exclusive relationship and you feel loved.
- You trust your boyfriend, and you feel safe with him.
- You’ve talked about your feelings and shared your concerns.
- Kissing, hugging, and foreplay turns you on and feels good to you.
- You’re genuinely curious and want to experience making love.
- You’re prepared that sex will increase hormones in you that will bond you to him even more. Watch When to First Have Sex to learn more.
24% of US teens have admitted they had sex when they didn’t want to. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and many teenagers end up being date-raped for their first time. It’s very important to have healthy boundaries and respect your body and sexuality.
Sex should not be used as a tool to manipulate boys, it may make you feel powerful in the moment but it lowers your self-esteem and can cause problems in your future relationships. Also, giving a boy sex with the hopes he will want to be in a relationship with you usually backfires. 23.4% of teenagers lose their virginity to a one night stand.
Most importantly, if you need someone to talk to confidentially I am here for you, and I’m easy to talk to. Even if your parents buy the session I will not discuss with them what you and I talk about. If you have already lost your virginity and regret it, or feel shame about anything please talk to someone about it. Keeping secrets about being sexually abused or violated will cause severe issues in your life. You need to heal so that you can be happy.