You are never supposed to discuss the details of your past relationships with your new partner. Women who constantly talk about their ex, or exes, create jealousy and insecurity in their partner. It certainly doesn’t create healthy intimacy between you; in fact, it usually destroys it. Most men don’t want to hear about any other guys before them anyway.
However, finding out how many men your lover has slept with before you has become a hotly debated topic in the comments on my YouTube page. Some of my male clients have also pleaded their case about why they absolutely need to know. But come on guys, that’s just your ego talking. There is no GOOD reason why you need to know how many men she has had sex with! It’s actually none of your business.
With age comes wisdom is a popular saying because it’s true that the more life you live the more you learn. That’s especially true with relationships. Most people think they know what they want in a partner but they usually don’t know what they don’t want until they experienced it and didn’t like it. So the more relationships someone has had the more knowledge they have gained. That’s what makes later relationships last.
Therefore, feeling like you NEED to know how many men she’s slept with is an indicator that you need to work on your self-esteem. If you truly believed in yourself you would care less about what any other man may have had. Women are not possessions and you cannot control what anyone else does. If you try you look insecure, manipulative, and petty; you create a toxic relationship.
Ignorance is bliss when it comes to things that are out of your control. The past is out of your control. Live in today and be grateful for what you have. Don’t drive yourself crazy worrying about things that happened before she knew you. Focus on how she is with you. Ask yourself do I feel loved? Desired? Do my needs get met? Does she make me happy? If so, don’t ruin it by asking disrespectful questions that can cause you to lose her. Trust me; you truly are better off not knowing.