Is your partner escaping your relationship? Is s/he doing things without you and seemingly paying attention to everything else but you? Is your relationship is over?
Not necessarily. Relationships go through many changes and it’s easy to get side tracked by work, unfinished projects, the kids, and even other people once in a while. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want your relationship anymore, you’ve just lost focus on it. Anything that distracts you from quality time with your partner is causing you to escape your relationship. Many of my clients come to me to find out how they can stop their partner escaping their relationship.
First and foremost, you need to stay calm. Don’t start complaining, nagging, or arguing with your partner. Always keep in mind that people do what they want to do. If you’re unpleasant to be around, your partner will continue to stay away from you. But if you’re enjoyable to be around your person will keep coming back for more. That’s exactly what you need to do.
Try to recapture the love that brought you together in the first place. Start planning fun things you can do together. Especially if you’re a woman. Many of my male clients tell me they hate having to plan everything they do with their significant other. So pick a romantic restaurant and make a reservation for two. Get tickets to a show or concert. A comedy club can really lighten the mood. Or plan an entire weekend getaway. The more effort you put into creating quality time together the more likely your partner is to want to participate. Playfully entice him or her to spend more time with you.
But make sure you’re not chasing him. When you chase someone they run. If he says no let it go and try to plan something else on a later date. Don’t become needy, no one likes a needy partner. Hopefully you have a full life of your own so that all of your focus isn’t only on your partner. Keeping yourself busy doing things you enjoy will help you feel better when you’re apart. It will also make the time you spend together more interesting. You’ll have more to talk about and share with your partner.
If creating more loving moments with your partner doesn’t stop her from escaping your relationship then it’s time to have a heart to heart conversation. Calmly ask if you can talk and using “I” statements tell her you miss her and that you feel like she’s been emotionally absent. Ask if there is anything wrong. But be prepared you may not get the answer you want. If she is done, it’s better you find out now and don’t waste any more time in an unfulfilling relationship. You don’t want to be with anyone who don’t truly love and appreciate you.