Are You Going Along to Get Along?

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Compromising is a great quality as long as you’re not the only one doing it. If you are the only one always giving in, or just going along to avoid an argument then it’s only a matter of time before you’re unhappy. Going along to get along makes you a doormat for your partner.

You need to get your own needs met in addition to being sensitive to your partner’s needs. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re always giving but never getting back in return. Relationships need to be balanced or they will fall apart.

You teach people how to treat you by having healthy boundaries. Which means each time you just go along to get along instead of asking for what you want or need you teach your partner that you do not want or need that. Then he or she will continue to behave that way thinking you’re ok with it.

If that happens frequently then you will start to feel resentful and reach a point where you do want your needs met. If and when you say no, and ask to have something your way, if your partner gets angry or refuses to do it your way, that is a huge red flag that you need to get out of this relationship. It means he or she does not care about what you want, he or she only wants what he wants — and that is a controlling relationship.

Narcissists will usually behave badly if they do not get their way. Read: Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist and run in the opposite direction if it describes your partner.

Learn more about healthy communication in my book Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships: Recipes for Healthy Choices