You want your date to get to know you, right? But how soon should you reveal personal details? What is appropriate first date conversation?

The first date should be fun. It should be about finding out if you enjoy each other’s company. If you dive into all your deep dark secrets (which you should not be wearing on your sleeve) it creates drama, and that’s not a good thing.

If you’re an open book you need to watch this video before you go out on any more dates. Revealing too much about yourself too soon is a sign of underdeveloped boundaries. It shouldn’t feel okay to give up intimate details about yourself before establishing trust. Trust has to be earned, and that takes time. Knowledge is power. Don’t give yours away.

Alcohol tends to make people more talkative too. If you know drinking makes you emotional, or more open, then limit yourself to only one drink and take small sips over a long period of time. Getting emotional as you tell your story is never acceptable on a first date (or even a second or third date). Your date may be polite about it but trust me, he or she will think you’re unstable, and that’s a huge red flag.

Save any sensitive topics to share until after you’ve known each other a while and you’re seeing each other exclusively. Then it can actually bring you closer by deepening emotional intimacy.

Read more about healthy communication and creating a long-lasting relationship in my book: Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships: Recipes for Healthy Choices