Are your childhood issues ruining your relationships? If so, I have to tell you that’s your fault, not your parents. But that’s good news! Because you have the power to stop allowing your demons to sabotage your chance at true love. Stop blaming your parents and start taking action to improve your relationships.

As an adult, you have free will to make whatever choices you want. Your parents may have created your feelings of fear, insecurity, or anger but if you’re no longer living in their house and under their control then you can’t blame them for your current behavior. No one can make you do anything.

Playing the victim is never attractive and blame is a toxic red flag. It’s so much more empowering (and attractive) when you recognize what your issues are, and what triggers them. When those issues get triggered by your relationship take responsibility and let your partner know it’s not about him/her. Acknowledge it’s your issue and assure him you’re working on it. That should inspire a loving, supportive response, instead of creating a defensive argument.

I do know that’s easier said than done. It is a process, sometimes a long process, to change deep-rooted behavior. But it can be done—if you want to do it. Even small changes can make a big difference in how your partner responds to you. And I promise you, you’ll feel better about yourself by owning your issues instead of blaming them on  someone else. It’s now within your control to create the life you want.

If you need support, I can help you recognize your relationship issues and take action to create a healthy partnership. I may even be available right now.