If you feel the need to look at your partner’s phone there is something wrong; either with your relationship, or with you.

Under no circumstance is it appropriate for you to snoop in your lover’s phone. It’s a violation of his/her boundaries. It damages trust. Once trust is gone it’s extremely hard to get back. Snooping destroys your relationship.

When you’re together having fun and he/she gets a text, do you look at his phone as he does to see who it’s from? Seems innocent enough and it happens frequently. But it’s a huge violation of his/her boundaries. It’s none of your business who he/she is communicating with, and by looking you make yourself look insecure.

If you feel the need to search their phone or computer when they’re not looking you need to seriously ask yourself why you’re doing it. Do you think she’s cheating? Are you looking to find evidence so you can confront her and leave the relationship? Or are you just feeling insecure and looking for confirmation that she’s faithful to you?

If you do think your partner is cheating you need to confront him/her directly. If you snoop you set yourself up to be attacked by your mate for searching his/her things, turning the tables on you. The best defense is a good offense; he/she can refuse to answer your questions making the conversation all about your betrayal. Besides, two wrongs don’t make a right. If you truly don’t trust your partner you need to get out and find a better relationship.

If your partner’s behavior doesn’t make you suspicious but you want more love from him/her, looking through his phone is definitely not the way to get it. You’ll most likely find things that are perfectly innocent but upset you anyway. Your imagination can blow things way out of proportion. Which will change the way you interact with your partner; confusing him and causing unnecessary problems.  Potentially creating arguments that end the relationship.

So do yourself a favor and keep out of your lover’s phone, computer, and email. It’s none of your business. If you value your relationship then have confidence in his/her ability to make good decisions about whom they communicate with, and don’t try to control her.