Fighting is normal, right? If you don’t argue, you’re just sweeping issues under the rug, right?
Well, I can only answer yes with the HUGE caveat that how often and in what manner you fight will either make, or break your relationship. The only winner of any argument should be your relationship. A productive fight should produce a positive outcome that helps you each learn what your partner needs, and then you both agree on a better way to interact going forward. It becomes toxic if you argue a lot, if you argue about the same things without a solid resolution, and most definitely if you’re mean, judgmental, and/or critical.
A client once asked me how often was normal to fight. If you’re even asking that question, the answer is probably you’re arguing too much. But I’m very glad you asked! That question if answered properly could save your life. At least that’s what I’m hoping I can do with this post.
Do you know if you’re being abused?
I shot the above video shortly after I watched the entire police bodycam video of their interaction with Gabby Petito. It broke my heart. That sweet girl clearly loved her boyfriend and wanted to protect him. Sadly, I don’t believe she knew she was in an abusive relationship, and he was only interested in protecting himself. Watching her brought me right back to when I was her age, when I was in a toxic relationship that almost killed me.
When you feel like you found your soul mate, it’s very confusing when he’s not being loving to you all the time. He makes you feel like it’s your fault, and like you’re crazy. But your only mistake is not loving yourself most, and holding strong boundaries to protect yourself.
