If you know that you are completely done with your ex and never want to get back together then please stop giving your ex hope that you’ll reunite. I say that because it’s hard to completely disconnect from someone, especially if you were together a long time. It feels good for the person who wanted out to be friendly with their ex. But it’s not good for your ex to be friends with you. The compassionate thing to do is to completely disconnect or only be friendly from a distance.

Every time you interact with your ex you are sending him or her a message that you still care. And while I’m sure you do, you need to create a very clear, and firm boundary that you are not trying to rekindle your relationship. I can assure you, your ex is reading into every kind thing you do as a spark of hope that you’re coming back. As a breakup coach, I talk to so many jilted lovers who are desperately searching for a way to get their ex back. They tell me all the nice things their ex has done as evidence of why they believe it’s possible. I do my best to help them see they need to let go and move on. However, the strongest confirmation of that needs to come from you — especially if you’re dating someone new.