If you want your woman to calm down you need to be smart about how you go about asking. If you tell her to “calm down” or “relax” you’ll mostly like get the opposite reaction — it will infuriate her. Because it suggests you think she’s being irrational and demeans what she’s trying to express. Instead, ask for a timeout. Tell her you do not understand what she needs and you’d like to push the pause button to slow things down, also, that you don’t want to argue with her.
If she’s yelling at you and she’s not capable of calming down then tell her, “I’m not going to listen to you while you’re yelling at me.” Then tell her you’re leaving (or hanging up) until she can have a civil conversation with you.