Why try online dating? Because it works! Millions of happy couples have found true love via the internet. So why haven’t you? Perhaps you tried it but didn’t connect with anyone special. Do you feel that everyone lies? Shows up looking nothing like their picture? The best ones never respond? Or maybe you haven’t tried it yet because you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable to put yourself out there publicly. Have you thought being online is only for desperate people? Well, the truth is there are a lot of very desirable, available and truthful people looking for love out there on the internet.
Why does it Work?
When you meet someone the old fashioned way at a party or in a bar or where ever it is you first lay eyes on each other, it’s all about attraction. Something about that person is appealing so you start flirting with him or her. If the chemistry is strong before you know it you’re dating and maybe even falling in love. But how much do you really know about him or her? Little by little you each reveal your lifestyles and goals, and more often than not you discover the chemistry is the only thing that really matches. That’s why most relationships merely last 3 to 6 months. It’s also why so many mismatched couples struggle on in dysfunction for years.
But if you could have started your first conversation with that attractive person by spouting off a list of questions or asking for a life resume like in a job interview, you could have potentially saved yourself precious time and hurt feelings. You might have decided not to get involved if you could have just blurted out, “How old are you? Have you ever been married? Do you want to get married? Do you want kids? Are you religious? Are you educated? Can you spell? Are you controlling? Creepy? Relentless? What was the last book you read? Do you workout? How much money do you make? Do you smoke? Do you like dogs? What do you like to do for fun? What is…”
If you were to come on with 20 questions like that you’d sound desperate and scare off any potential admirers, right? Yet if you don’t ask enough pertinent questions up front it’s a crapshoot to hook up with the right person. Trusting fate may be a very romantic notion, but it’s an ineffective way to find a good match. Even when you take your time and make queries does your attraction obscure your judgment? It’s hard to meet someone you’re really hot for; so when you do find one, frequently you’ll put up with less than desirable behavior. It’s kind of a catch 22.
That’s exactly why internet dating works. It’s like shopping; you can make comparisons and check out the specifications before you invest. You can safely search through pictures and profiles till you find someone who appears to be a match. Plus, you can advertise exactly what you are looking for and it’s perfectly appropriate—even expected! You can know if you are compatible and want the same things (at least on paper) before you even decide to have any contact. Then by emailing and talking on the phone you get to test it out. By the time you choose to meet in person it really is just about whether you’re attracted to each other or not. If you are, you have much better odds of creating a good relationship.
Of course the obvious benefit to online dating is that you have so many more people available to you than you could possibly meet by just going out. So you can be pickier. You don’t have to put up with bad behavior because there truly are millions more fish in the sea. They took the time and initiative to put themselves out there online, so you can be pretty sure they’re available and ready to meet someone too. (I’ll give you tips on how to avoid the scammers, serial daters, and married liars later.)